Falling down
by Erendyce
Summary: When they are the only ones remaining on the battlefield, they seek oblivion in each other. Even if they know it can't last forever. Yullen. Angst and graphic stuff inside.


Disclaimer: D. Gray Man is H. Katsura's property.

A/N: Hey there. This short one-shot is to make you wait while I prepare the next chapter of Shikigami :] Hope you'll like it!

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**Falling down**

Lips crash together violently, eagerly, gasps are stifled by the sound of heavy rain falling on them as if to veil what they are doing, to isolate them from the outer world.

Allen winces as he is pushed – no, slammed – against the wall of the narrow alley and as his mouth is ravished once again by Kanda's forceful one. But the pain is nothing compared with the one he's feeling from the injuries that are making him bleed continuously. The mission they've been sent on is over, and it was a failure.

Neither Allen nor Kanda have deigned inform Komui about it. Not yet. Right now they're busier relieving their frustration by making out. Allen is pressed against the wall, ignoring the warm crimson liquid trailing down his temple, ignoring the wetness and the coldness of the icy rain pouring down on both Exorcists. Kanda's hands roaming under his soaked wet shirt and reaching between his legs are enough to set the boy's body on fire.

Kanda bites Allen's lower lip and savours the metallic taste in his mouth, ignoring the small whimper of protest from the boy – he knows they both prefer sex when it's harsh and passionate – , ignoring the rain pouring down on them as if to remind them of the desolation of their failure.

"Ngh... Kanda..."

The Japanese man shuts the boy up by shoving his tongue in and thoroughly invades his mouth. With one hand, he removes Allen's coat and lets it drop on the ground, not caring about the slight shiver he earns from Allen. The boy's shirt is no more white as it usually is; it's marred with grey from the battlefield, red from the opened wounds, and the cloth is almost in tatters. That's why it won't make any difference if Kanda rips it open a bit more. His other hand unbuckles Allen's belt but doesn't pull the zipper down yet, though the bulge in the boy's pants is evidence that they shouldn't drag it too much.

Allen is panting and gasping, unaware of the coldness pouring on him; he slides an arm around Kanda's waist, under the man's open coat and feels goosebumps on Kanda's bare skin – Kanda never wears anything under his coat – while his other arm goes to Kanda's drenched hair which he grips tightly and pulls on the side to expose the Japanese man's neck, making the latter hiss. Allen moves his mouth forward and bites right at the junction between the neck and the shoulder, drawing a few drops of blood. He sucks on the warm and wet skin and is rewarded by a single, Japanese curse from Kanda. Allen smirks inwardly; whenever the older male forgets himself and starts speaking in Japanese, Allen feels like he's winning. He pulls back; the bite mark has already vanished but the silver-haired boy isn't surprised any more. Though he doesn't understand how, he simply knows that Kanda's healing abilities are beyond natural. Even now, while Allen is covered with scratches and more severe wounds, Kanda's body doesn't show any trace of the battle they've just lost.

A failed mission. Right. That mission will leave a very bitter taste, Allen knows it, yet he's not able to think too much about it as Kanda grabs a fistful of silver hair and none-too-gently pulls Allen's head backwards, making it hit the wall.

Allen winces again, more out of reflex than because he feels pain. Well, he does feel pain, but Kanda's presence is enough to stir something else in him, something that is definitely not pain. And when Kanda's tongue starts trailing over his collarbone and over his neck while his hand plunges in his pants, he can't help but let a loud moan of pleasure escape.

Satisfied, Kanda slightly pulls back and meets with Allen's eyes. They silently gaze at each other, panting, faces an inch apart, piercing dark blue eyes into silver ones. Drops of water fall from Kanda's hair on Allen's face, but the boy doesn't blink. During that short moment when their gazes gross, they can read in the other's eyes the need to feel each other, the instinctive desire to let go of any restriction, and the sudden despair that seizes them. Then Kanda kisses the boy again, one hand wiping the blood from his cheek, but it's useless since the wound isn't closed.

"Kan...da... we need to..." Allen manages to say between two kisses.

"To what?" Kanda whispers on the boy's lips before sealing them with his own again.

"Nghh... tell Komui... nghh..."

"Shut up. Not now." the older male cuts sharply as he attacks Allen's neck and finally unzip his pants.

"But Lenalee is... dea..."

"Shut up." Kanda pulls the boy's pants down – hell, he would slice it to pieces but he knows that Allen wouldn't appreciate it – and presses his body against Allen's so the boy knows how hard Kanda is right now. Then he inserts his knee between the younger Exorcist's legs and presses on his arousal, making the latter moan once more.

"And Lavi is... too..."

"Shut up." the Japanese Exorcist shoves two fingers in Allen's mouth and the latter automatically runs his tongue over them, though it's almost useless since they are already wet thanks to that damn rain. At least it makes the brat shut up. Yes, the two others died on the battlefield, so what? Let the dead rest in peace and the living live. And right now, Kanda and Allen are living, though they can only feel how alive they are through each other's existences.

Kanda pulls Allen's boxers down then removes his fingers from the boy's mouth and reaches down Allen's lower entrance. Allen wraps his arms around the older man's neck and whispers at his ears:

"You really don't care... aah... about... the mission?...aah..."

The Japanese Exorcist doesn't reply, instead he inserts his fingers in and starts stretching the boy. No, he doesn't care. All he cares about now is to take Allen, to make him his own and to forget – for a moment – the humiliating taste of defeat. That's right, Allen is a mere means for him to relieve himself, he's not attached to the boy in any way but this way.

Allen is used to Kanda's rough treatments, it's always been like that and this time isn't going to be an exception; especially after what had just happened. An utter failure. Where did they go wrong? Does it really matter to him now? Or is he simply trying to look sorry for his fallen comrades? Gods, Kanda is all he has in mind. Kanda, Kanda, Kanda. It's like a mental mantra for him. There's him, him and him only. Every other image he has in mind is immediately erased by the thought of Kanda; he holds on him tighter as Kanda's pushes his fingers even deeper; he tilts his head back when Kanda touches a certain spot within him, and his partly open mouth can taste the rain showering his face.

Then, without any warning, Kanda pulls his fingers out and with one swift motion, turns the boy round so he's now facing the wall. Allen leans both his forearms on it and lowers his head. He can see crimson drops falling on the ground and being washed away by all the water around them, and silently curses his wounds for not wanting to close. Each drop of rain feels like a sharp blade on each of his injuries. He suddenly feels cold despite what he and Kanda are doing right now, and shivers run through his body.

Kanda notices it and undoes his own pants before seizing the boy by the waist, careful not to touch the wounds, and leans his chest over Allen's back. His other hand rests on the wall, next to Allen's arm. He knows that he can't warm Allen this way, for his body is simply too cold because of the rain, but it doesn't matter. He places his length at Allen's entrance, and pushes in, earning him a cry from the boy. He pushes all the way in, and a sudden warmth seizes him as he sheaths himself deeply before withdrawing and pushing back again.

Allen's breathing is erratic, his mind is only filled with the feeling of Kanda inside of him, Kanda's hot breath against his ear, Kanda's hand gripping his erected member and running over it. He moans shamelessly though the sound of the downpour covers most of his noises, he needs Kanda so badly it almost hurts, and he knows that the Japanese man feels exactly the same, though he'd never admit it out loud.

At each thrust, Allen feels more alive. His senses are getting sharper as pleasure builds in within him, but because of that, the pain of his wounds is even more acute. He doesn't care, he only pays attention to Kanda thrusting in him repeatedly, tirelessly like a furious beast. He notices that the older male is rougher than usual, as if he's using Allen to take revenge for their failure. He doesn't mind, because it also helps him forget their nightmarish mission; the screams of Lenalee and her spasms as she's emptying herself of her blood, lying in a huge, scarlet pool, the twisted face of Lavi as he breathes his last, all the corpses of the people they have failed to save, the smell of smoke, ruin and despair. And him, Allen Walker, still alive though he should have died to atone for his failure.

A sharp thrust brings him back to the present.

"Aah... Kanda... don't stop.... just don't... stop..." Because as long as they are doing this, Allen has an excuse for not thinking about the disaster. As long as they are doing this, it feels good to be alive.

Kanda is ramming into the boy restlessly, barely understanding where his strength comes from. A fire is burning in him, and all the rain of the world isn't able to put it out. He wants Allen to feel him, and him only; he wants to carve in his body all the emotions he's giving him, he wants to make sure Allen remembers what 'insatiable hunger' means. Because that's how Kanda is feeling right now, hungry. And he sates himself by unmercifully ravishing Allen, by reaching him to his core and feeding on his body. He is a predator that doesn't give a single chance to his prey to escape. Not that Allen wants to escape, far from that. Kanda's hand is working fiercely on Allen's member and he savours the sounds that are coming from the boy's mouth. He himself is having a hard time to refrain from letting those same sounds out, but he manages somehow, matter of pride. It doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy this.

No. He doesn't enjoy it. He just _needs_ it. They both do.

Their goal is the same, after all. They want to forget about that damn mission. Kanda pushes himself deeper with one violent thrust, almost angry as he thinks back at the carnage. They had been useless back then, unable to face the turn of events that had led them to this deplorable outcome. He pours all his frustration into Allen, and Allen relieves himself by accepting everything Kanda has to give him, he welcomes the carnal pleasure like manna because it's proof that he isn't a saint, a pure, godsend warrior who's able to save the world, and in a way, it's an excuse for him for not being able to save the two deceased Exorcists. Therefore, he wishes for this never to stop; he wishes for Kanda to take him again and again, to send electrical waves in him continuously, to make him lose his mind even further until he can't think of anything else but Kanda.

And Kanda wishes for this to go on for the same reasons. Behind their apparent antagonism, they know they share the same desires, the same passion, the same fears, and the same darkness. That's why they match so well together. And that's why they want this to last forever.

But 'forever' is not a word that can apply to humans, and Kanda soon finds himself reaching his limits. Still, he rams into Allen one last time before releasing inside the boy and makes the latter come in his hand. He pulls out and simply needs to wait a few seconds for the rain to wash his hand, then he redoes his pants and directs his gaze at the silver-haired boy. They are both panting, hardly managing to recover from that outburst of desperate rage that has taken over them.

It's already over.

Allen has his back against the wall, looking away as he absently tries to get dressed back. Then he glances at his coat that is lying, drenched, on the rain-battered ground and sighs. He might as well let it there, but Kanda unexpectedly grabs it for him and hands it to him.

"Thanks." Allen merely says as he takes it but doesn't wear it – it's not like it would have protected him from the cold or anything. "Do we call Komui now?"

Kanda doesn't reply. Instead, he walks out of the alley, and Allen follows him. They silently look at the devastated scene in front of them for a moment, then the Japanese man raises his eyes to the sky. The rain has stopped, as if to offer them a better sight of the desolation spreading before them.

Kanda bits his lower lip and clenches his fist, then he feels a cold hand grabbing his own and casts a glance on the side to see the younger Exorcist watching the scene. He can't tell what the boy is thinking, and he doesn't care about it, actually.

Fingers interlace, they wish for time to freeze, but the world is not that kind.

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Here you go! And please bear with me while I'm working on Shikigami! Thanks to all those who reviews my works :]


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